Frenemies

After watching the Sex And The City episode "Frenemies" a couple of nights ago on my laptop, it made me think about my own frenemies. Sadly enough, I have come to realize that I have more frenemies than actual friends, and that --gasp!-- not everyone has the ability to be loyal or trustworthy if you give them the chance. Not everyone is friend material. My question is whether or not everyone has realized the profound truth of The Frenemy.

How could one not come to the conclusion that most people are "friends" with one just for companionship and competition? Healthy human nature dictates a thirst to be the best, but it is our mutual love and an accomplishment of character when one surpasses said thirst and offers a true hand of friendship.

What is it that makes up a good friend? It's probably different for everyone, but how about honesty? trustworthiness? openness? unconditional love? Is unconditional love possible except within families? I mean, sure, I can piss my mom off and be mean to her, but when I apologize (and after she stays pissed for a while), she'll come around and we'll be fine. So what about friends? How deep does your friendship have to be to reach that level? I remember when we were little, kids used to do the "bloodbrother" thing and cut their arm or something and press their wounds together and say that they were "blood siblings" now (what if one of them had HIV and didn't know it?). Is that how close you have to be not to be a pair of frenemies?

Another question, to be actual friends and not frenemies, do you have to know eachother's deepest, darkest secrets, or does that just happen eventually because you trust that person that much?

Let's just say that it's interesting that people tend to ignore the idea of the frenemy when they, themselves, are HUGE frenemies. The way people act leads me to believe that people want to walk around with blinders. Take 'em off and be wary is all I got to say; only few are who they seem to be.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Well, ladies and gents, I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to come and update my blog. I've been busy lately. I'm back now, though! I've got a whole month to obnoxiously and obsessively update this blog. Be prepared.
Anyway, telling you that I won't have a life for the next month is not the point of this posting. The real aim of this post is to talk about a little thing called respect. Aretha sang a song about it, famous people have it (through no credit of their own, solely because of the media's focus on rich, beautiful people thusly making them into these huge megastars for no reason), and George Bush will never get it from me even if he is the president.

What brought this subject to my attention, you ask? Well, recently, I was at a friendly gathering and was majorly disrespected by the mere act of two people I've known my whole life walking out in the middle of my explanation of a game we were going to play. Really, wow. It may not seem like such a big deal to some people reading this post, but the people who were there can attest to the amazingly blatant disregard these two portrayed (plus there were only like 12 people there, so walking out was that much more disrespectful). I just don't understand some people. Do I have to be lightyears ahead of people academically or in age for them to respect me? When does someone earn your respect? Do they have it until they lose it?

For me, for example, when I am introduced to someone, I have a certain amount of respect for them already, because if they associate with the same person with whom I associate, they must have some level of credence. So when I get to know the person (if they are worth getting to know further), my respect for them usually elevates, otherwise, why would I take it out of my day to hang out with them or get to know them more?

Now, when you lose my respect, it is unbelievably hard to regain it (mostly because it takes a lot for me to drop you to a non-respected level). So if someone is acting disrespectful to me, is it my duty to keep acting with the same level of respect to them? I doubt it. I would expect from myself, if I don't talk to them about what happened, at least play down to their level when dealing with them (as much as I usually don't like to "sink to another level", sometimes there is a need for it).

There are people from whom you expect a certain level of respect and politeness because you know that the way they were raised allows them to do nothing less. Disappointingly, the older of the two girls, who I expected much more from, acted the way she did. That hurt way more than the younger of the two doing it alone, because I had high expectations for the older one.

It's really just too bad when people act a fool with me, because unless you are truly important to me, I will not bother. I'll brush it off, bitch about it for a bit, then go on with my life. I will not put the effort into reconstructing the relationship. Easy? Not always. Wise? I'm not sure, but ever since I've stopped fretting about people who don't really matter to me, I've been a lot better off. If you come up with a better way to deal with people's annoying tendencies, let me know.

Lyrics

Take the time for some beautiful lyrics:

Jeff Buckley- Last Goodbye

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry ’cause I know that in time
I’ll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

James Blunt- Beautiful

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.


(For more on love, refer to my second post, "Serendipity")

Diligence

Well, it's nice to see that you're studying hard. It's okay, obviously, if I'm writing this, I'm not either. Anyway, today's post is about goal-setting and diligence. I seem to consistently make goals for myself and then either forget about them or hope that they will happen naturally. Not a good philosophy in life. For example, in school, I say I'm gonna do all these notes from the book, lay them out, organize them, et cetera. But I never do. I have relied on my natural talent to take me through every year in my life thus far: AP classes, honors classes, normal classes, it didn't matter. I was always surprised as hell at the people who were like obsessing when the AP test time came or when there was a paper or something due in a class (even our senior papers in high school English). And I did well. I had a three-eight-five leaving high school. No easy for someone who never truly studied hard. Not even in a foreign language, and just a bit in history classes. So this lack of diligence is showing itself in not only my need to actually work when I came to college, but in other parts of my life, too. How is someone supposed to lose weight or build a relationship back up without diligence? It's a little tough and most times ends up in utter failure. You can't really use natural talent for that. (By the way, chocolate milk tastes shitty when you've been drinking it for the past 2 hours. It gets warm. Eww...).
Anyway, here are some tips I picked up that hopefully will be helpful with your future goal-setting from www.goalsguy.com !
1. Thou Shall Be Decisive
Success is a choice. You must decide what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it. No one else can, will, or should do that for you.
2. Thou Shall Stay Focused
A close relative to being decisive, but your ability to sustain your focus from beginning to end determines the timing and condition of your outcomes.
3. Thou Shall Welcome Failure
The fundamental question is not whether you should accept failure. You have no choice but to expect it as a temporary condition on the path way of progress. Rather, the question is how to anticipate failure and redirect resources to grow from the experience.
4. Thou Shall Write Down Thy Goals
Your mind while blessed with permanent memory is cursed with lousy recall. People forget things. Avoid the temptation of being cute; Write down your goals.
5. Thou Shall Plan Thoroughly
Planning saves 10 to 1 in execution. Proper planning prevents poor performance.
6. Thou Shall Involve Others
Nobody goes through life alone. Establish your own "Personal Board of Directors", people whose wisdom, knowledge and character you respect to help you achieve your goals.
7. Thou Shall Take Purposeful Action
Success is not a spectator sport - achievement demands action. You cannot expect to arrive at success without having made the trip.
8. Thou Shall Reward Thyself
Rewards work! Think of what you will give yourself as a result of your hard work, focus and persistence - you deserve it!
9. Thou Shall Inspect What Thy Expect
The Shelf life of all plans is limited. No plan holds up against opposition. Everything changes. Therefore inspect frequently and closely, it's an insurance policy on your success.
10. Thou Shall Maintain Personal Integrity
Maintain your commitment to your commitment. Set your goals, promise yourself that you will achieve them. Eliminate wiggle room and excuses. That's personal integrity!

Karma

Karma: The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny. Now, I'm not Hindu, but I do believe that the way you act toward others gets reflected back on you in some way. Today, hopefully I reversed my karma for at least until I do something else stupid to messed it up again.... Today I found this guy's wallet and put it in the lost found. Then I saw him later at the Coffman cafeteria "studying" with his friends and went up to him and told him where to find his wallet. He looked all confused and then thanked me and went to retrieve it. Then when he came back, he wanted to give me money as a "finders fee", but I refused, telling him not to worry about it. He had some major money in that wallet, too. There was like 50 bucks. Am I just wanting to make myself seem so great for something commonplace or would people have taken some money? (Muslims, your answer BETTER be no). I also helped this old man at caribou this morning because he was carrying like 8 cups in cup holders out to his car and couldn't reach his keys, so I took one of the trays from him (even though his car was like farther along than mine). Am I just like a bitch in real life so I think that not-that-nice things are extraordinary? I dunno, but I think I'm gonna punch the chick next to me. She just like cracked open a tupperware box full of some foul-smelling brown stuff. It's like, aren't you supposed to throw things like 2 months before they smell or look like that? People, I tell ya. This new karma better kick in soon. Some free stuff wouldn't be too bad.

No More Drama

Well, it's finals time, ladies and gentlemen! Are you feeling the heat yet? I have. I'd like to take a minute and tell you all that I will be not procrastinating in the future. Don't believe me? Well, believe it, baby! I'm done with leaving things on the back burner until the whole metaphorical house smells like burnt food ... or worse --the kitchen burns down. Don't worry about me, I won't be pulling a Fresh Prince episode anytime soon (the one when Will wants to make flambee and burns down the kitchen).

With that said, I have my plate full right now: presentations, papers, finals, and the like. What's the thing I least need to complete the full raping? More drama. I have enough drama in my life for people to be adding more to it!!! Recently, someone brought me into something that I totally wasn't a part of to begin with and cost me a friend. This friend thought that I didn't stand up for him/her and now won't even talk to me. I totally did, too, that's what's more annoying than anything. If I hadn't, then I wouldn't blame my friend, but I did. All this is because of some moron who brought me into a problem that I currently never have, never have had, and never will have anything do do with.

How fricken unfair is that? A word to the wise: keep your shit to yourself and to your close friends. It's no one else's business what you think about someone/something.
To end this post, I'm going to leave you with the wise words of Mary J Blige in "No More Drama":

Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
.... Only God knows where the story ends
For me
But I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose
Whether we win or lose
And I choose to win

Is everyone having more fun than me?

Question: Is everyone having more fun that I am or is it just better documented? Why do I ask, you say? Well, I was procrastinating as usual and looking at people's photos on Facebook; EVERYONE has these pictures of themselves having immense amounts of fun, jumping off flight of stairs, going to parties, haphazardly drinking from a keg, et cetera. It seems that all I do is go to campus and study, hang out with my friends in non-fun places, doing non-fun things. Then on the weekend, I'm studying or hanging out with my friends at dinner, movies, cafes, or homes. I'm convinced that I do have fun. It's not like my life is boring. But perhaps it just pales in comparison to everyone else's fun. Or maybe it's something I'm not doing? Maybe other people say "Okay, I'm gonna jump off this short flight of stairs with Bob and you take a picture of us in the air, ok?", and I don't. Is that it? I don't know. It seems a little weird to me that everyone else is having more fun than me. Or perhaps I'm having as much fun as anyone else but I don't know it because I think everyone else is having more fun than me? Do I put myself in situations in which it's impossible to have fun, or avoid "fun" situations? Why? Maybe I think "fun" situations are only for certain people (thinner, prettier, dumber, drunker, whatever). Hm.... I encourage anyone thinks they have less fun than others to speak now before I jump off the Washington Avenue bridge in search of "fun".

Top Xmas songs

It's been a while since I've been on here. All's goin well, but I'm swamped. It sucks when I can't do the thing I love most: procrastinate (well, and flip out about small stuff, but procrastinate is huge). So here's a little list to spread some holiday cheer (I got enough to go around):

My Top 20 Holiday Songs

"All I want for Christmas"--Mariah Carey
"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"
"Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas"--Bing Crosby
"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"
"It's the Most Wonderful Time of The Year"
"The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies" -Tchaikovsky
"Jingle Bells"
"Jingle Bell Rock"
"White Christmas"
"Let It Snow"- Dean Martin
"O Christmas Tree"(That's because of Home Alone. lol.)
"Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"
"Santa Baby"
"Deck the Halls"-Dean Martin
"12 Days of Christmas"(I just love when they sing "FIVE GOOOOLDEN RINGS!"
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
"Sleighride"
"Silent Night"--Boyz II Men(Sure I'm Muslim, but who doesn't like Boyz II Men?)
"We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
"Winter Wonderland"
and last but not least: "The Hannukah Song"-- Adam Sandler (It's too funny not to like.)
Whatever you celebrate, wherever you're from, you can't help but like Christmas music. It's so happy and "good will to all" kind of music. Most of the year you're listening "Like is unfair" or "I love this guy but I can't get him" kind of stuff. Reserve the holiday season for some good old-fashioned niceness (is that a word?).