Society's Credentials: Female Edition
From talks I've had with different Arab guys I'm friends with (the ones with the most influence on this post are Tarrek H. and O-Thabs), their idea of the perfect wife is pretty different than what the West projects as the ideal woman. For most girls who live here, it's pretty difficult to receive this message 24/7 of a powerful, independent woman from the West and then go home and get blaring message of the way a woman is supposed to be in the near East.
1. Woman must be, first and foremost, a wife: The first credential for an Arab wife is that she needs to be a wife. Sounds pretty stupid, because once a girl is married, she's a wife; but I mean that a girl needs to embody Arab society's roles for the "wife" before taking on her role as a lawyer or doctor or desk clerk or whatever. If the man is making enough money, the wife is expected to stay home (remember, guys, if you're makin enough for your wife to stay home, you better be making enough to keep that maid service. Just cuz she's staying home doesn't mean she's gonna scrub floors). Now, although I am the first girl to say that I want to do something worthwhile with my life (besides raising great kids), I probably wouldn't mind be a stay-at-home wife. I mean, what's there to complain about? Do charity work, join a book club, get a bikini wax, whatever. There a million things to do besides work. I'd probably rather do that than work, as bad as that sounds in this Western society.
2. Woman must have mothering qualities: Sorry, gentlemen, but I have to say it: all men like being babied. Personally, if I love someone, I naturally take on a nuturing/protective role, so I guess "mothering" comes naturally to most women (most being the operative word). I think that men need to look past the exterior of women they see who seem fit to be mothers. In most situations, these females can be mothers, but there are people with problems for a reason. I believe that all psychological problems root from the way a child was parented, so I think that there needs to be a major look at the way girls are to evaluate their merit as a future mother.
3. Woman must be college-educated: Not for her own good, but for the good of the children. There is no way to raise kids well if you don't posess a certain amount of academic curiosity and quench for knowledge --at least enough to get you through colllege. It was fine for mothers 50 years to be less than college educated, but our mothers and we need to be college educated, because studies show that within a certain time in a child's life, the mother and father are the main sources of knowledge. Also, there is a certain amount of keenness that comes with raising good children, that someone who has merely a high school degree cannot achieve.
4. I'm just gonna say it...the chick's gotta be hot: This is pretty self-explanatory, butto further elaborate, I can refer back to my post "Frenemies" and say that there is a certain amount of competition between people, especially men; thus, having a beautiful wife is another way to triumph for men, even if they won't really say so. It's really the same thing for women, but women get over it more easily than men and realize that not everyone looks like George Clooney.
For Westerners reading this blog, it may seem a bit too old-fashioned and, for lack of a better word, unequal. But since the girl has a list of priorities for men, then men naturally have a list of priorities for women. These priorities are set to result in the most correct and functional marriage possible for both the married and the children, who, if raised correctly, will have none other than these credentials for their mates.
1. Woman must be, first and foremost, a wife: The first credential for an Arab wife is that she needs to be a wife. Sounds pretty stupid, because once a girl is married, she's a wife; but I mean that a girl needs to embody Arab society's roles for the "wife" before taking on her role as a lawyer or doctor or desk clerk or whatever. If the man is making enough money, the wife is expected to stay home (remember, guys, if you're makin enough for your wife to stay home, you better be making enough to keep that maid service. Just cuz she's staying home doesn't mean she's gonna scrub floors). Now, although I am the first girl to say that I want to do something worthwhile with my life (besides raising great kids), I probably wouldn't mind be a stay-at-home wife. I mean, what's there to complain about? Do charity work, join a book club, get a bikini wax, whatever. There a million things to do besides work. I'd probably rather do that than work, as bad as that sounds in this Western society.
2. Woman must have mothering qualities: Sorry, gentlemen, but I have to say it: all men like being babied. Personally, if I love someone, I naturally take on a nuturing/protective role, so I guess "mothering" comes naturally to most women (most being the operative word). I think that men need to look past the exterior of women they see who seem fit to be mothers. In most situations, these females can be mothers, but there are people with problems for a reason. I believe that all psychological problems root from the way a child was parented, so I think that there needs to be a major look at the way girls are to evaluate their merit as a future mother.
3. Woman must be college-educated: Not for her own good, but for the good of the children. There is no way to raise kids well if you don't posess a certain amount of academic curiosity and quench for knowledge --at least enough to get you through colllege. It was fine for mothers 50 years to be less than college educated, but our mothers and we need to be college educated, because studies show that within a certain time in a child's life, the mother and father are the main sources of knowledge. Also, there is a certain amount of keenness that comes with raising good children, that someone who has merely a high school degree cannot achieve.
4. I'm just gonna say it...the chick's gotta be hot: This is pretty self-explanatory, butto further elaborate, I can refer back to my post "Frenemies" and say that there is a certain amount of competition between people, especially men; thus, having a beautiful wife is another way to triumph for men, even if they won't really say so. It's really the same thing for women, but women get over it more easily than men and realize that not everyone looks like George Clooney.
For Westerners reading this blog, it may seem a bit too old-fashioned and, for lack of a better word, unequal. But since the girl has a list of priorities for men, then men naturally have a list of priorities for women. These priorities are set to result in the most correct and functional marriage possible for both the married and the children, who, if raised correctly, will have none other than these credentials for their mates.
posted by Ayah @ 1:33 PM
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