Fakeness
I was thinking about this the other day: one of the socially scariest things is witnessing your friends be fake to someone else, and having that other person soak up that fakeness like a nude Italian soaking up the sun on an Egyptian beach. I see people I know tell me they hate someone and turn around and talk to them like they are their best friends the in a span on two minutes.
How does that happen? I can't understand people like that. I mean, if you don't like someone, why not just show them that you don't like them and get on with your life? Why all the drama? All this headache for what? To have one more person on your Facebook list of "friends"???
The idea of doing something dishonest with YOURSELF disgusts me. I mean, I see people being dishonest with others all the time, but they don't fake friendships. I guess this is what my sociology teacher meant about the difference between relationships. There are personal relationships (friends, family, lovers) and there are relationships from which you seek gain something (financial, social). For instance, a teacher-student relationsip is in the latter category because there is a purpose for it. If the student graduates, perse, and remains friends with that teacher, then the relationship has changed its nature.
I am seeing people take the "relationship to gain something" into the social world. Keeping social ties with as many people as possible so you're that person who everyone believes is amicable, no matter how dispicable of a person you actually are (and seriously, I've seen this happen). This "amicability" then translates into dinner and party invitations; which can lead to more chances at meeting a marriage partner; which in turn, ups your chances at having a successful personal life, according to society's standards.
Also, I was laying in bed at 4 am thinking last night (I had work at 8 am, so I only got 2 hours of sleep, which led to me drinking a large coffee, which I'm not used to, and finally, I am still jittering and can barely type 8 hours after drinking the coffee), and I was thinking... why don't people work for the common good? What do they have to lose if everyone wins? Backhandedness and schemeing to reach a goal that hurts others but bolsters you seems counterintuitive to me. I mean, we can't live without each other, so why would we try to hurt one another?
Sorry. That's my idealism and naivite shining through again.
How does that happen? I can't understand people like that. I mean, if you don't like someone, why not just show them that you don't like them and get on with your life? Why all the drama? All this headache for what? To have one more person on your Facebook list of "friends"???
The idea of doing something dishonest with YOURSELF disgusts me. I mean, I see people being dishonest with others all the time, but they don't fake friendships. I guess this is what my sociology teacher meant about the difference between relationships. There are personal relationships (friends, family, lovers) and there are relationships from which you seek gain something (financial, social). For instance, a teacher-student relationsip is in the latter category because there is a purpose for it. If the student graduates, perse, and remains friends with that teacher, then the relationship has changed its nature.
I am seeing people take the "relationship to gain something" into the social world. Keeping social ties with as many people as possible so you're that person who everyone believes is amicable, no matter how dispicable of a person you actually are (and seriously, I've seen this happen). This "amicability" then translates into dinner and party invitations; which can lead to more chances at meeting a marriage partner; which in turn, ups your chances at having a successful personal life, according to society's standards.
Also, I was laying in bed at 4 am thinking last night (I had work at 8 am, so I only got 2 hours of sleep, which led to me drinking a large coffee, which I'm not used to, and finally, I am still jittering and can barely type 8 hours after drinking the coffee), and I was thinking... why don't people work for the common good? What do they have to lose if everyone wins? Backhandedness and schemeing to reach a goal that hurts others but bolsters you seems counterintuitive to me. I mean, we can't live without each other, so why would we try to hurt one another?
Sorry. That's my idealism and naivite shining through again.
posted by Ayah @ 5:49 PM
2 Comments:
At 8:33 PM,
Samira said…
Your "idealism" and naivete is inspiring and entertaining--and I don't mean to say this in a fortune cookie way. Most importantly, this post is so true. It's like my reflection being like, "Hey, since you're judging me all the time, here's what I think of YOU."
Very necessary. Thanx :)
At 7:48 PM,
Wanksta said…
Yo salamz -
Great idea. And it is not naive to seek consistent moral/ethical behavior.
Recently, I heard a discussion on duties Muslims have towards one another. The lowest duty - the least we owe each other - according to Islam is not to have enmity in our hearts towards one another.
I think we should expect social disarray and dishonesty when we don't holistically implement Islam as an all-around way of life.
If you ask a person amidst their two-facedness whether it is wrong, they might look at you strangely since they are perhaps not even considering "religion" applicable to the given situation.
May Allah make us consistent inside and outside, ameen!
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