Secret Friends
I was thinking about this Sex and the City episode when Carrie first starts dating Big in the first season. He takes her to tis greasy little Chinese place. At the restaurant, Carrie runs into an old friend, but when she tries to introduce herself to her friend's frumpier-than-usual date, she's quickly pushed away. She later finds out that this girl isn't someone he's "dating openly." Despite being smart, funny, and great in bed, she's not quite as sexy or as polished as his usual girlfriends, so he keeps their relationship under wraps.
This made me think of my life --could I possibly be a person someone is not befriending openly? Sometimes we doubt ourselves and create circumstances in our minds or misjudge an incident into what we want to believe. If I want to believe that someone is using me, for instance, I will think of all the moments that I've done stuff for them or a time they've ditched me for something better to do... yet I conveniently forget all the times they've done stuff for me and all the times they've been there for me. Is it the same thing here or am I just making drama out of nothing?
This obviously reflects my own insecurities and bouts of self-loathing, but I notice with certain people that they befriend me when no one's around or just when it's convenient for them. Most of us have a friend we feel never hangs out with us unless there's nothing better to do. The friend who when they answer the phone when they're with you say "Nothing, I'm just sitting around" or something to that effect. The friend who when you call to hang out or invite them to a gathering say "Who's gonna be there?" or "Um... I'll see what's going on tonight and let you know" (when it's not checking with their parents or seeing if they have homework) instead of "Yes". The friend who you call up to go to a restaurant then you see at the same restaurant that night but with another group (then they say they didn't know if you were busy or whatever).
This is just an observation. I'm not sure if it's true for everyone, but just a passing thought.
This made me think of my life --could I possibly be a person someone is not befriending openly? Sometimes we doubt ourselves and create circumstances in our minds or misjudge an incident into what we want to believe. If I want to believe that someone is using me, for instance, I will think of all the moments that I've done stuff for them or a time they've ditched me for something better to do... yet I conveniently forget all the times they've done stuff for me and all the times they've been there for me. Is it the same thing here or am I just making drama out of nothing?
This obviously reflects my own insecurities and bouts of self-loathing, but I notice with certain people that they befriend me when no one's around or just when it's convenient for them. Most of us have a friend we feel never hangs out with us unless there's nothing better to do. The friend who when they answer the phone when they're with you say "Nothing, I'm just sitting around" or something to that effect. The friend who when you call to hang out or invite them to a gathering say "Who's gonna be there?" or "Um... I'll see what's going on tonight and let you know" (when it's not checking with their parents or seeing if they have homework) instead of "Yes". The friend who you call up to go to a restaurant then you see at the same restaurant that night but with another group (then they say they didn't know if you were busy or whatever).
This is just an observation. I'm not sure if it's true for everyone, but just a passing thought.
posted by Ayah @ 1:43 PM
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