Humongous Cat!

I saw this huge cat and it traumatized me. So I had to put it on here.

Here's the first one.

the second one!

the third one!

He looks comatose in this one.

Aww... you wanna play with his fat ass. lol.

Criticism (Constructive vs. Destructive)

I can understand the truth being hard to take if it is a bad thing. I can understand criticism is difficult to comprehend if you're on the defensive. I can also understand that if you are trying to stay afloat when it comes to your self-esteem or self-confidence, you don't want to hear anything bad about yourself because you already have enough self-criticism. But there must be a point when stop and listen to others who are close to you and try to understand them.

Truthfully, for years, I have been ignoring and hating my mother every time she brings up my issues with weight. I've come to understand over the years that she is not criticizing me to make herself feel better or just make me feel worse. She is my mother after all; but when you're 12 and your mother tells you you're too fat, you tend to clump her in with all those kids who just told you the same thing at school. And, she even admits, when I've had talks with her about this issue now that I'm older, that she handled the way she confronted me about it completely wrong. She admits she was wrong in her trying to get me to lose weight by trying to make me want to "show her" that I can. And she admits she was and still is wrong when she brings weight up at the most inconvenient and inappropriate times. However, I can appreciate her desire for me to have a happy healthy physical and mental state.

So why is it so hard for us to take criticism? I think I'm getting better at it. People (who are close to you, not just anyone can tell you your faults) are not going to say that something is wrong with you or that you shouldn't do something you've been doing just to make you feel like shit. They are going to say it because it's true and because they are looking out for your best interest. Interestingly enough, it seems to me that those who criticize are never the ones who can take the criticism, no matter the nature of it. But, in my mind, it seems to me that if you consider someone a friend or a close person to you, you will assume that what they have to say isn't meant to hurt you, make you feel stupid, or put you down. It is meant for your betterment, not matter what it is: from your weight to how you put on eyeliner to your destructive behavior. If it is said politely, then that person can tell you their opinion.

Of course, you can take it or leave it. But if you truly believe this person is your friend, you will take it. Or at least think about it. You can't just say "I can't lose this weight. I'm not going to do it!" or "That's the way I am, if you don't love me for me then go f*ck yourself." You have to look at where these criticisms and comments are coming from.

Also, I think that if you are the one delivering the criticism, you have to choose your criticism wisely and your wording. And you have to give reasons for this criticism. You can't say "Joe Shmoe, you have very destructive behavior and you need to stop" and then go about your day. You need to tell "Joe" that his behavior is destructive, give him examples, let him give you reasons for his demeanor or mannerisms, and ultimately, give him a proposed solution. Empty criticism is not good criticism. If you have something to bring up, bring it up with a solution for it... otherwise that person will take offense and shut you out.

So, you can sit and listen to your friend who actually cares about you and your well-being (or appearance, if that is important to you as well), or you can metaphorically (or literally) stomp off and slam the door in their face.

It's your choice, but at least think it over instead of acting on your first reaction.

The view from here

Lisa Kudrow and David Schwimmer are sitting on the couch at Central Perk, cracking jokes for the audience's entertainment. I've seen this episode more than a million times, so I click over to AlJazeera. A very different scene unfolds in front of me.

The camera pans a fallen building and a street with stopped cars and piles of debris. There is screaming and wailing in the background, but I can't quite make out the Arabic because of the static in the recording. An ambulance car comes into view with a huddle of men in ripped clothing standing in front of it, pulling wounded man after wounded man into the back to the car. Corpses of barely-alive Lebanese men are being dragged to a safer place. A man with one leg is sliding along the ground in the bottom lefthand corner of the screen, clawing away from the wreckage. It's a beautiful, sunny day but no one is paying attention to the weather. The healthy ones are fighting against the large slabs of broken concrete to pull the others out of the razed building. Beirut, Lebanon, says the Arabic caption on the bottom of the screen. I half-expected it to say "West Bank, Palestine".

The next scene is one of President Hosni Mubarak at a press conference with President George W. Bush. Shaking hands and smiling, the two answer questions posed by reporters. Coward, my mom says. Where are you, Abdel Nasser? She looks at me. He was the only man who came up out of all these Arabs. The rest are cowards. May you rest in peace, Abdel Nasser. I watch her for a moment and I can't help but wonder what it was like in a time when political figures were considered heroes. Now we are all skeptical of all the political leaders because we've lost faith in each other (and with good reason). Political leaders are no longer in office because of merit or idealistic dreams. They are in Washington or whatever capital because of power and the semblance of democracy and righteousness.

Doing what's right has become passé, and so has working for what's right. People are campaigning their beliefs left and right, yet do they really beleive in what they say or is it a cover for something else? Are we all waging our own Iraqi war to cover up for the desire and ability to do anything for our version of oil and control? Are ethics all relative?

I was reading a friend's business ethics textbook (he's doing his MBA) and the book brought up a very interesting debate: do we not do things because we are afraid of reciprocation or do we not do things because we want our quality of life to improve? Ideally, we want to do or not do to improve the quality of life. But, a debate was raised with a friend the other day: In a parallel universe, if you had a chance to date a guy/girl you really liked even though you knew that they had a boy or girlfriend (perhaps in another state), would you do it? We both said no. Why? Normally, one is inclined to show their best face and say "Because it's just wrong!" but really, what he/she is thinking is "Because I wouldn't want that to happen to me!"

Upon delving more and more into who I want to be in the future, and thinking about my "dream" of being a mediating attorney for the UN in the Middle East, I am losing my optimism and starting to think that there is no way that we can ever resolve the issues that arise in that region. The issues are so seeped in hatred and generations after generations of being taught that the other person is bad/wrong/bastards(or any other swear word you would like to use).

And now Lebanon again. And again the world is unresponsive to the troubles of the Arabs. Damn it, not even the Arabs are answering the helpless pleas of their fellows. Look at this Al-J article.

May Allah brighten our path and show us the right way to solve these problems.

Back off of Zinedine!

Sure, Zinedine Zidane could've handled the whole head-butting thing better. But, he so obviously provoked. The Italian, Marco Materazzi, who was defending Zidane during this match, was grabbing at ZZ's shoulder, which he had injured earlier in the game. Then, as is shown in the playback, Materazzi said something to Zidane, which we later find out is a derrogatory comment about Zidane's mother. This is followed by Zidane running ahead and then turning around to headbutt his offender.

Now, I understand that Zidane kind of lost it. He should of thought about his legacy and how this is his last game. He should have thought about how this is the impression everyone will be left with. But the fact of the matter is, he didn't. And he got kicked out of the game. What I think is that Materazzi wanted to do anything to get Zidane out of the game: whether by red card or by injury. Also, whether Zidane had headbutted him or blew on him, he would crumbled in the faux seizure he had on the field post-headbutt.

So, in conclusion, Zidane was wrong to overreact, but he was not solely at fault and he wasn't "CRAZY" or "f*ckin dumb", as some of my Italian-cheering friends have said. If it was any other guy with cajones, he would have done the same thing; in fact, I would have done the same thing.

Before I sign off, I am gonna go on a tangent about a whole different subject: the lottery. If this isn't the most unfair redistribution of wealth in the world, I don't know what is. I mean, seriously, we have enough problems with polarization of wealth for the government to sanction it so openly. GOD!

Okay, I'm done.

Some old post about Islam

Hey, everyone, I wrote this blog a while ago, but I never put it up. So now I'm posting it:

I haven't been blogging for a while. I dunno why. Let's see, what's happened since I last blogged? I went to an Arab film conference and there was only one good movie: Route 181. It's a Palestine-Israeli documentary about the daily life of people living on UN resolution 181's border. You should watch it. I also got to talk to the Palestinian of the two directors, Michel Khleifi (pronounced Mish-el-ikh-leih-fee). I guess I've been reading a lot more into Islam lately, Alhdamulilah, instead of spending my time doing other things like watching incessant TV. I still do watch it, but mostly "Law and Order" and "Monk". And then I usually watch an episode of Friends before I sleep to relax me. I'm trying to make my Arabic tongue stronger, so I read the Qur'an in English and Arabic simultaneously, since I already have a strong English core. It can help me better understand the Arabic. If all else fails, I can always resort to bombarding my dad with questions. He's pretty well-versed in Islam, mashaa Allah.

For some reason, lately, I find myself wishing Islam on people who aren't Muslims who I love. People who I know are very, very good, but haven't chosen Islam as their way of life. I even wish I could go back in time and help bestow Islam on good people in history, like Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr. What really made me thing about it was the other day, I was sitting thinking about Nelson Mandela and doing some online research about him (instead of my homework). And I just wish he can come into Islam before his time comes. It's not like I'm going to go around telling people to convert or anything, but I've been thinking, I should lead by example. Be the best Muslim possible not only for my own sake, but for my little brother's, my friends', my children's (some day Inshaa Allah).

If all Muslims led their life keeping in mind that they represent Islam, things will be going a lot smoother for us, right? Well, somewhat. If all 1.5 (is is still 1.5 now?) Muslims pursued life as Islamically as possible, then no Muslim would be hungry, no Muslim would be turning on his Muslim brother (in reference to the present Civil War). In turn, also, Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Atheists, Agnostics, all would see how pleasant Islamic life is. It would be hard for the media to portray a people badly if they all lived by Shari'a, the Qur'an, and Sunna. As Imam Siraj Wahhaj once said, "Islam is perfect, but Muslims are imperfect." If Islam is followed to the T, or close to the T, then a lot of problems Muslims are facing today wouldn't be present.

For those of you who are non-Muslim who are reading this, I don't mean to impose my religion on you or condemn your way of life at all. I completely believe in "to each his own". However this has really worked for me. And in understanding Islam more, it's helped me want to reach a certain level of piety more. And I have a LONG LONG way to go, but I feel a little more clear about it.

Anyway, everyone, I hope you're having the best of summers! Keep in touch!