Fakeness

I was thinking about this the other day: one of the socially scariest things is witnessing your friends be fake to someone else, and having that other person soak up that fakeness like a nude Italian soaking up the sun on an Egyptian beach. I see people I know tell me they hate someone and turn around and talk to them like they are their best friends the in a span on two minutes.

How does that happen? I can't understand people like that. I mean, if you don't like someone, why not just show them that you don't like them and get on with your life? Why all the drama? All this headache for what? To have one more person on your Facebook list of "friends"???

The idea of doing something dishonest with YOURSELF disgusts me. I mean, I see people being dishonest with others all the time, but they don't fake friendships. I guess this is what my sociology teacher meant about the difference between relationships. There are personal relationships (friends, family, lovers) and there are relationships from which you seek gain something (financial, social). For instance, a teacher-student relationsip is in the latter category because there is a purpose for it. If the student graduates, perse, and remains friends with that teacher, then the relationship has changed its nature.

I am seeing people take the "relationship to gain something" into the social world. Keeping social ties with as many people as possible so you're that person who everyone believes is amicable, no matter how dispicable of a person you actually are (and seriously, I've seen this happen). This "amicability" then translates into dinner and party invitations; which can lead to more chances at meeting a marriage partner; which in turn, ups your chances at having a successful personal life, according to society's standards.

Also, I was laying in bed at 4 am thinking last night (I had work at 8 am, so I only got 2 hours of sleep, which led to me drinking a large coffee, which I'm not used to, and finally, I am still jittering and can barely type 8 hours after drinking the coffee), and I was thinking... why don't people work for the common good? What do they have to lose if everyone wins? Backhandedness and schemeing to reach a goal that hurts others but bolsters you seems counterintuitive to me. I mean, we can't live without each other, so why would we try to hurt one another?

Sorry. That's my idealism and naivite shining through again.

The Case of the Extremes

I've noticed something recently that disconcerted me. I've been trying to find moderation in my life in everything for a some time. I believe moderation is the key to a happy, balanced life. But I've noticed that this very moderation of which I speak is close to non-existent in our Muslim community.

Now before you act surprised and go on the defensive about yourself, or the community as a whole, give me a chance to show you what I mean:

I've noticed that in the majority of the community, there are two kinds of people: the Zealous "Muslims" and the people who call themselves Muslim but never act that way (except maybe go to Salah, which has become a social engagement instead of a strictly prayer and learning session).

The Zealous "Muslims":
These people are the ones who spend all day in Al-madinah and truly try to be all about Islam. Unfortunately, these people are not as Muslim as they believe. They tell you to not to look at people from the opposite sex in a lustful way, yet when a cute boy or girl walks by, they are the first ones to look. They tell you that Allah is the judge, yet they pass judgement on every single other person who could possibly have "weaker" faith than they (yet there is no way to know that, because only Allah knows how much faith someone truly has). They say that they treat everyone as their Brother or Sister, yet if you are not hijabi (or have another Islamic fault), they ostracize you (whether or not that is done openly is another question. There's a difference between being ostracized subtly and being shunned openly). Before you tell me I'm just making conjectures, I can point out a situation in which I entered AlMadinah to pray at Zuhr time and I got the dirtiest stare from a hijabi girl sitting on the chairs in the corner next to the computers. I said "Salamu Alaikum" and she acted like she was surprised and mumbled a reply. How is that Islamic? Islam is so big on equality, so how can someone consider themselves pious if they make a snap judgement about someone from their appearance? It doesn't make any sense. Just because you have "halal fun" instead of partying doesn't make you better than anyone else.

The "Muslims":
These are the people who are born into Muslim families but don't understand what a gift that is. They are given the gift of Truth from the moment they are born, but they do not take advantage of it. Instead, they party like the Americans we live amongst; they drink; they don't pray; they don't fast (either they say they do, but don't, or they don't even put on a semblance that they do). These are the people you see and hear things about and you can't believe that they do. You are so innocent that a "Muslim" would have premarital sex, that a "Muslim" would get drunk, that a "Muslim" would have no kind of regard for modesty or reputation or anything thing that has to do with that (hayaa). These are also the girls AND guys who go around campus acting like they are Muslim, being involved in Muslim issues and clubs, yet they can be found making out with someone in a corner in the student union.

Where are the moderates? Where are the people who can admit that they do not act Muslim 100% but still understand what a gift being Muslim is? Where are the people who --gasp!-- wait for marriage? Where are the people who don't drink but don't act like they're better than those who do? Where are the people who don't pass judgement on others? Where are the people who pray but don't spend every waking moment in the mosque? Where are the people who recite "3aleyhi el salatu walsalam" when they hear Prophet Muhammad's name, peace be upon him, but don't throw out Hadith at you like daggers in every situation? Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, once said that we are a moderate people. My parents have been adamant about instilling this moderation in me and my brothers. If I can give them a quote to sum up their parenting, it would be that.
Is it our living condition that makes it impossible to float in the middle without being pulled one way or the other? If you try to hold onto your Islam, to survive in this country as a Muslim, do you have to cling to every doctrine with all your might? Do you become a "Muslim" if you're not a Zealous "Muslim"? I understand that everyone has to live their life the way they want, but I just don't understand why there's such a pull toward the extremes. Is it becoming the time to point out the "Goodies" from the "Baddies"? Have we come down to all or nothing? The chasm between the "Muslims" and the Zealous "Muslims" is widening every day. Why can't we meet somewhere in the middle (but not for drinks. Coffee, maybe)?
I know that there are some really good zealous Muslims out there who try not to pass judgement on others and who just believe in a pious life. And I know that there are some "Muslims" who are just lost and need to find their way or be guided by someone else. It just seems to me that there is such a wide gap that will continue to widen because of pride, misconceptions, pre-conceived judgements, and other things, that we will never meet in the middle. The ideal situation, I feel, and I could be wrong, is that we all go back to Islam's basics and follow them. It all started at the Pillars and people have lost sight of the basicness of Islam's perfection. Islam's not complicated, and the people who complicate it are losing sight of its Truth and the people who see Islam filtered through the eyes of the complicators are being pushed away from it, because they can't see its Truth either.
It just saddens me to see such a large fissure between the Muslims, especially in a time like this, where we need to be solidified more and more --and don't even get me started on sectarian issues.

DISCALAIMER: I just want readers to know that I understand that I am no where near a perfect Muslim to be passing judgement about how other people do their religion, but these are just my observations, unfiltered by my judgement of whether or not it will piss people off. This is just what I think and you can take it or leave it. Leave a comment at your convenience. If you are not a blogger member, email me if you want. -Ayah

Astrology

So, I was curious about what my astrological sign says about me and this is what it said: See what it says about you!

Sagittarius the Archer is a fun-loving masculine sign, the ninth sign of the tropical zodiac. The Sun on his annual journey shines through Sagittarius from Nov 22 to Dec 21, though it can vary depending on the year. Symbolizing our inner nature, the Sun stands for the essential character of our true self, but Sagittarius is traditionally ruled by the fortunate planet Jupiter, the mythological lord of the gods. Jupiter was known to the ancient Greeks as Zeus, from which we get the latin deus, meaning God.

Mutable, change-loving Sagittarius governs long-distance travel, matters of the higher mind (philosophy, religion and the law), cultural pursuits – and having a good time! It is a fire sign, so Sagittarians are positive, forthright communicators who love travelling – although you do tend to be restless and hate to take orders.

The Sun is bright in Sagittarius. It favours social status, the higher mind and travel, especially in pursuit of idealistic aims in faraway places. Sagittarians are idealists and usually much in demand socially, because you are like a breath of fresh air.

Search for Truth and Knowledge
Sagittarius is a dual sign, which has (of course) both an up and a down-side. The symbols for Sagittarius are the hunter (archer) and the centaur, a mythical half-man, half-horse. These signify the search for truth and knowledge, as well as the constant pursuit of adventure and new ideas. Intellectual curiosity covers a wide range of subjects, but you do get bored and restless when surrounded by dull people or circumstances. You would rather learn on your own, through travel and experience, than endure structured classroom environments and routine work assignments. However, having broadened your knowledge and gained experience in the world on your own, you could become an excellent teacher or administrator in the very educational system you once found so restricting.

You readily adapt to change and home is where you hang your hat. This is both a strength, because it is a survival mechanism, and a weakness because it makes you vulnerable to the demands and influence of others. Frank Sagittarius does not hesitate to give an honest opinion, which can seem tactless at times – although it is rarely your intention to be cruel. You have a ready wit and appreciate the humour in even the grimmest situations.

Energy and Enthusiasm
Needless to say, you much prefer to be the boss in any situation and must constantly watch your tongue in the unhappy event that you find yourself (temporarily!!) in the position of an underling. Before you assess the practicality or worth of what you are doing, before you sort out your true emotions, and before you take time to reason things out intellectually, you have a tendency to shoot first and ask questions later. Communication-oriented Sagittarians are forever bubbling with energy and enthusiasm. Independent and hard to pin down for long, this is the sign of the bachelor, but even married Sagittarians seek to maintain some aspect of personal independence.

Jupiter, the benefic planet of fortune and good luck, endows a generous nature with a friendly, optimistic disposition. A natural politician, you like knowing everyone and going everywhere, for life is something to be enjoyed every day. Addicted to all the good things, you know how to get maximum enjoyment from them, but too much of a good thing can be problematic, and prudence is difficult for most Sagittarians to acquire. Being overly spiritual or too philosophical, for example, gets you too far out of touch with the real world. Despite heroic efforts to be prudent in one area, you can still manage to zoom into bankruptcy by overindulging elsewhere. On the other side of the ledger, your attempts to be prudent can get so far out of line that you can turn into a miser.

Passion for Sports
Enthusiastic Sagittarius has a passion for sports. Physically challenging endeavours of all kinds, including archery, jogging, hang gliding, sailing, and fishing (especially for big game fish) are favorite activities. One big challenge to overcome may be the battle of the bulge, when your fondness for food, glorious food and a good drop finally catches up with you. A natural gambler and risk-taker, you usually come out on the winning side, especially when you try your luck at horse or dog racing. You love music, art, dance, and drama and no doubt have considerable talent in these areas.

Sagittarius rules the thighs, hips, and, to some extent, the feet. Physical problems, however, are apt to be the result of unrestricted diet or an over-indulgent pursuit of other pleasures. Sagittarians are also subject to an overpowering urge to gamble, which can be ruinous for some.

Your colours are maroon, tan, navy, orange, and cobalt blue. The ancients associated the ruby with Sagittarius, while modern astrologers give this sign the turquoise. Your highly adaptable, dual personality can easily associate itself with both gems. Because Sagittarius is associated with bigness in general, flowers for this sign include the large blooms such as huge mums, hydrangeas, dahlias and peonies.