Survey!

Hey, all! Take this survey for my friend Omar when you have time!

"That's why Hell was made."

Recently I've taken on an internship for an organizations called WATCH. Originally, WATCH stood for "Women at the Court House", but since men started expressing interest in joining the group, it is now just WATCH. WATCH volunteers and interns go to monitor cases of domestic violence and cases of violence against women and children.

So I was at Court last week and I witnessed the arraignment for this case that made me do a double take when I saw the complaint. Normally, I'm pretty desensitized to stuff like this. I've become desensitized because I have to be in court. You can't think every act is horrendous and worth crying about --although all of them are despicable.

The defendent in this case went into an apartment building and knocked on the victim's door. Thinking that it was one of her neighbors, the victim opens the door a bit to see who it was. Then the defendent proceeds to spray her in the eyes with an aerosol can so that she would let go of the door, forces his way into the victim's apartment. At knife point, he forces the victim to take off all her clothing and starts raping her. At this point, the victim ceases to hold the position that the attacker wants due to a physical disability, and the attacker hits her and forces her, again at knife point into her bedroom. In the bedroom, the courageous victim takes matters into her own hands and hits the defendent over the head with a nearby lamp a couple of times, causing him to flee in the apartment. The police find him outside in just his socks and his clothes, license, everything, in the victims apartment.

Now, guess what his plea was? You guessed it-- NOT GUILTY! Not guilty? What the hell? I don't get it. Why wouldn't he just admit to what he did instead of putting the victim through the whole grind of having to go to court and all that. He was expressing his "regret" and "remorse". His head was down and his voice was low and all his sentences ended with the word "sir." Where was this when you were raping a handicapped person???

I left court that day amazed at the attitude most, but not all, defendents had in court, especially knowing the details of their crimes and charges. That night at dinner, I was relaying my dad at court to my father and he said something that really made me think: "That's why Hell was made."

In all my years, I've known that there are bad guys, but my personal concern was not those bad guys-- it was how good I could get, how I compared with other "goodies" in the eyes of the Creator. And, don't get me wrong, I still think that way most of the time, but now I see myself on a much broader scope and I force myself to stop beating myself up about not being perfect --in worldly matters as well as spiritual ones.

Seeing crimes like these and their victims really makes you put things into perspective. Inshaa Allah, I'll keep you guys posted about any good stories come across in court to keep you centered, too.

Limbo

Did you hear about this new pope wanting to abolish "Limbo"? Since when can they just change stuff like that. Oh wait, that's right, it's been done before. Here's the BBC link to an article about it. Also, doesn't this guy look like pure evil? He's scary as hell. Look at his eyes.

Slipping Away

Sometimes I feel like people in my life are slipping away from me. It happens sometimes that best friends float away from each other, that siblings get busy, that relatives get too caught up with other things to check in on each other. For some reason, though, I've been feeling this drift even more than usual and I'm upset by it.

I don't know what triggered it. I have a couple of theories:

Ramadan: Maybe the fact that it's Ramadan makes me think of a certain kind of life that should be led during that time. I imagine families gathered around a dinner table, many ornate lanterns (or fawanees)all over my house, hearing the athan all throughout the day. Maybe it's just that I miss Egypt. I haven't been there in four years (going on five) because of reasons that shouldn't be there but just reflect my own issues and has everyone who knows about them disappointed with me. They all believed my self-confidence was more than this stupid reason.

My second theory is this: because of schedule changes and such, I feel so isolated from my closest friends (and relatives). We don't see each other as much, we don't even talk as much. And as stupid as this sounds, I even feel like I'm losing them to other people. It's so frustrating. At least I can deal with getting into a fight with someone, but just losing them while I still love them and want to spend time with them constantly is hard.

On a different note, I'm so confused about my future right now. I thought I wanted to do international law. Then I was looking at litigation. Now, I want to go back to my original idea before I even thought of law: fashion. I'm so sick of my aspirations for the world that doesn't seem like it'll ever change for the better. Every time someone fixes a problem, a new, worse one crops up. I just want to turn my back on all that and immerse myself in the fashion world. Who the hell cares about trying to solve the problems of poverty, AIDS, or WMDs in the fashion world?

Ugh... I don't know. Whatever.

The new war on the Global South

So, I don't know if you've heard about the Cote d'Ivoire sludge incident. It's crazy that we don't find out about this stuff till now when it's been happening all summer. Here's an excerpt. Read the real site.

Several tankerloads went to the Abidjan landfill, in a community called Akouedo. Residents there are accustomed to foul odors, but knew something was particularly bad about the new material. They chased and surrounded one of the tanker trucks, forcing the driver to flee on foot, witnesses said. In other places, some trucks were simply abandoned by drivers fearful of being attacked as word of the illegal dumping crept out and public anger rose.