Loyalty
Loyalty. Now, like the sociologist I believe myself to be, I must define everything about which I speak. So, what is the definition of loyalty? Let's consult good old dictionary.com... The definitions I liked best were "feelings of allegiance or the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action."
It seems to me that loyalty is a lost art. I'm not saying that I am loyal 100% of the time to my friends, because, after all, I am human and the mind games that some people play to trick you into disloyalty are usually quite underhanded and crafty. So if I am not always loyal, should I expect loyalty from my friends? I believe that in friendship, a certain level of loyalty should be present. One should try one's hardest to stay loyal to a friend.
Unfortunately, good friends are as hard to come by as is an honest salesperson. Once you find that salesperson, you must always go back to him. When I worked at Marshall Field's, I had about 35 customers who would call in specifically to know whether or not I was working, or they would jot down/make mental notes of when I worked so that they could come back to me. If there is no loyalty, how can a relationship be built? Sure, you can have your friends with whom you party, you can have friends with whom you study, and you can have friends with whom you chat about random things ---but that's it. They will never evolve into "friends friends" until you trust them and believe that they will be loyal to you in most, if not all, situations.
A few years ago, I was put into a quite awkward situation by a friend who conveniently forgot to whom she owed her allegiance. For some reason, however, I could never ask her the question I wanted her to answer most: how could she call herself my friend if she couldn't respect the sanctity of a conversation I have with her? I'm still haunted by my inability that night to metaphorically pull her by the collar and slap her across the face. I was so hurt by her betrayal, I decided that she did not deserve my allegiance either. Needless to say, our friendship was effectively ruined (although we pretended it was fine for a year or so longer).
If that friend hadn't been caught, I would never have known not to trust her. This made me think of the myriad of people in my life that I could be trusting who didn't deserve it and had kept their betrayal under wraps. I was so paranoid for the longest time and I'm nearly sure that it has made a lasting impression on me as a person. I've become a lot more cynical than I used to be.
But I guess everything happens for a reason. If my friend hadn't betrayed me, I'm sure someone else would have. Is it pathetic that I've lost so much faith in humanity because of one incident? I'd have to say that even now at the tender of age of (almost) 18, I'm already quite exhausted of the mind games that people play. Is it asking a lot from people to just be nice? Or should nice and loyal and other words of the same breed just be saved for after-school specials? I'd like to believe not. But then, I'm probably wrong.
It seems to me that loyalty is a lost art. I'm not saying that I am loyal 100% of the time to my friends, because, after all, I am human and the mind games that some people play to trick you into disloyalty are usually quite underhanded and crafty. So if I am not always loyal, should I expect loyalty from my friends? I believe that in friendship, a certain level of loyalty should be present. One should try one's hardest to stay loyal to a friend.
Unfortunately, good friends are as hard to come by as is an honest salesperson. Once you find that salesperson, you must always go back to him. When I worked at Marshall Field's, I had about 35 customers who would call in specifically to know whether or not I was working, or they would jot down/make mental notes of when I worked so that they could come back to me. If there is no loyalty, how can a relationship be built? Sure, you can have your friends with whom you party, you can have friends with whom you study, and you can have friends with whom you chat about random things ---but that's it. They will never evolve into "friends friends" until you trust them and believe that they will be loyal to you in most, if not all, situations.
A few years ago, I was put into a quite awkward situation by a friend who conveniently forgot to whom she owed her allegiance. For some reason, however, I could never ask her the question I wanted her to answer most: how could she call herself my friend if she couldn't respect the sanctity of a conversation I have with her? I'm still haunted by my inability that night to metaphorically pull her by the collar and slap her across the face. I was so hurt by her betrayal, I decided that she did not deserve my allegiance either. Needless to say, our friendship was effectively ruined (although we pretended it was fine for a year or so longer).
If that friend hadn't been caught, I would never have known not to trust her. This made me think of the myriad of people in my life that I could be trusting who didn't deserve it and had kept their betrayal under wraps. I was so paranoid for the longest time and I'm nearly sure that it has made a lasting impression on me as a person. I've become a lot more cynical than I used to be.
But I guess everything happens for a reason. If my friend hadn't betrayed me, I'm sure someone else would have. Is it pathetic that I've lost so much faith in humanity because of one incident? I'd have to say that even now at the tender of age of (almost) 18, I'm already quite exhausted of the mind games that people play. Is it asking a lot from people to just be nice? Or should nice and loyal and other words of the same breed just be saved for after-school specials? I'd like to believe not. But then, I'm probably wrong.
posted by Ayah @ 1:14 AM
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